Ralphie May’s widow brings documentary about comic to Tempe

It’s been almost nine years since Ralphie May died, but the larger-than-life comic’s humor lives on in Netflix specials, countless Instagram Reels and the hearts of fans.

May killed with audiences around the world during his too-short career, but offstage, another story was unfolding.

“You tell my story? Be honest. Good and bad. I’m a very flawed and imperfect man,” he says in a scene from “Come What May,” a new documentary directed by David Gantz and Lahna Turner.

Comedian and filmmaker Turner, who is also May’s widow, is bringing “Come What May” to Harkins Tempe Marketplace at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, May 20. She’ll take part in a Q&A after a screening of the film. Tickets are $15.84 including fees.

“Come What May” is not a start-to-finish laugh riot. It’s not supposed to be. The film is crafted from clips throughout May’s career; footage shot for earlier projects; personal videos of May, Turner and their children; and interviews with fellow comedians such as Jay Leno, Bob Saget, Jay Mohr, Tiffany Haddish, Jeff Ross, Maz Jobrani, Alonzo Bodden, Russell Peters and Kevin Smith.

May’s talent is on full display, but so is his torment: his early career struggles, his insecurities, his health problems, his relationship struggles and his substance-abuse issues. The total effect is a compelling look at a very funny man who brought about his own downfall, and a grim reminder that no one is immune to the destructive force of addiction.

Turner spoke with Phoenix New Times ahead of the Tempe screening. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.

How did “Come What May” come about?

So, we started the first shoot while he was alive. It was intended to be a weight-loss documentary, and obviously, that didn’t work out. So we had a lot of that footage, and I felt, and feel, like I have a responsibility to do something with that footage, both for Ralphie and for Ralphie’s fans.

So the first project, when we realized that it wasn’t going to be able to be distributed and come out, I didn’t want to make the decision, but I was like, “I’m going to have to roll up my sleeves and do this myself.” And I found David through a good friend of mine who’s a documentarian, who actually had filmed me and Ralphie early on in our lives and some of his footage is in the film. David is his son and a very talented documentarian on his own. And so David started editing and it just grew. It took years to get to this point. I mean, it’s been a decade, really.

What do you think it reveals about Ralphie that fans may not have really been aware of?

I don’t know how well you followed Ralphie’s career, but I’m sure there’s a lot in there that took you off what you might’ve thought. I like to say that Ralphie left us this footage in an archive because he wanted his story shared. I really believe that because you can tell … that he wasn’t very honest in life, but he was so honest in what he left us. So I think he shared a very honest story and I think that that side of him is something that I don’t think most people would have known.

How was it working with your co-director, David Gantz?

Because I’m a subject in the film, I wanted to be hypersensitive to the idea that I can’t direct scenes that I’m in. We have to treat this fairly. So what David did was he created a big, long string out of everything and then went through and chunked it down to what he thought were the most significant parts. And then I could help direct the film, but if there was something that I was in or the kids … well, if the kids were in, I still maintained control. But if there’s something that I was in or something that was very personal, David always had final say because I wanted a very honest story, so I had to remove myself as a director and allow him to take the lead on those parts.

Why did you decide to take the film around the country and have these Q&A screenings?

I decided to take it on the road for a couple of reasons. One, Ralphie told me when we made our wills that if one of us goes first, what do you want to have done with your body? He told me he wanted to have his ashes sprinkled on every comedy stage across the country. And I laughed and said, “You’d end up in the nachos and that’d be happiest.” And then I also went on to say, “Well, you also be in the vacuum cleaners. You’re not going to stay on the stages.” Anyway, obviously, I’m not going to take his ashes. I think that’s illegal in every state.

I thought about it as we were wrapping this up. There were a couple things. So one, I was like, “I can honor his wish and take him on the road, and I can bring his orange jacket because he always took pictures with everyone after the show.” … And also as a independent filmmaker … I think the climate for these types of things is changing. I think we’re at the beginning of it. I’m experimenting with the idea of what it looks like to be an independent filmmaker with a film and not go the traditional route.

What have you been hearing during the Q&As?

The participation from the audience — the questions are amazing. The last one we did in Houston, we were in there for an hour of people just asking brilliant questions. One woman at the second Q&A stood up bawling, talking about how she was molested as a child and how she has had substance-abuse issues her whole life, including food. I was crying as she was crying. … She just poured out her heart and was like, “This is going to help people. ” And I mean, that right there was like — this is amazing.

What do you hope people get out of seeing the film?

I mean, I hope it is helpful to them because I think at this point in the world, most people have some form of experience with addiction or codependency. I think for somebody watching it who’s in the position of loving someone who’s an addict, maybe they can learn what not to do from me.

When I was in Las Vegas, there were several heavyset comedians who were there and they stuck around after the Q&A just to talk to me about their experiences with eating and how they emotionally eat and we talked about it. And so just getting that conversation going is great.

I hope people come out, and the fun part for me sitting in these screenings, there’s a lot of laughter. People are laughing throughout the whole thing and then the tissues start to come out. And then we tried to end on a happy note with his comedy.